Why Not Me?

DSC_0198-01

Have you asked yourself the popular movie line, “Why me?”

When someone gets his medical results and positive of a disease or condition, he asks the same question.

When someone fails in the board examination or didn’t passed any job interview, he also asks the same thing.

When someone feels frustrated, broken and shattered because of all the things that is happening in his life, he questions God, “Why, of all people, it has to be me?”

Well, this time my story is not related to that. I was actually redirected into another question, why not me?

Most of you know that I recently quit my job as an emergency room nurse, for the reason that I really want to try new things out and see for myself what’s outside my comfort zone. In short, I tried to shift into a new career. I tried, meaning in 3 months it wasn’t that successful. Maybe because there are no enough people that will guide me or it was a closed door after all. I want to think that the first one is the right answer.

In the middle of the quest, there are few windows that opened. These are entry points that made me realized that jumping out of your courage zone wasn’t bad after all.

I was blessed to experience the career I really want to do for the rest of my life- Motivating and coaching people to live life to the fullest. It was one of the highlights of my life.

But just like what I said, there were only few windows that were opened. These windows also made me miss the previous spotlights and hero moments. These longing made me think that maybe I did the wrong move.

I felt the heartbreak again.

Para akong iniwan ng boyfriend ulit. Lahat pina-experience, pinasample at pinahiram lang.

For a couple of weeks I allowed sadness to win, the feeling of worthlessness and uselessness were present. I can still remember that I had nightmares due of stress.

But God never leaves you weary and burdened as they said.

I may had questioned him why I wasn’t chosen for the job I really love. And avoided to talk to him during my usual night prayers. I may had done things he will hate. But I am sure He never left. He never hated me. He never abandoned me.

Because He didn’t missed the chance to remind me every day of his love.

He gave me someone that will never get tired of my questions.

He gave me people that will believe in me when no one else was.

He gave me food, shelter and basic needs that makes me survive every single day of my journey.

He assures I will be able to hear him during the homily and from the people who makes my love tank full.

You may have also experienced this kind of frustration in your career, relationships or finances. You wanted to ask God to pick you up and choose to grant your wishes like a genie or a santa claus.

But God is no wishing well. He doesn’t grant wishes out of luck. He grants wishes out of grace.

Maybe the answer to “Why not me?” is actually,”You are home.”

You are actually where you needed to be.

You are chosen not in your terms but in his.

“Forget Yourself. Take Up your Cross and Follow me.”

God Bless!

wp-1459207987332.jpegshutterstocktypewriter2

Advertisements

Now I figured out why

If your story is you are born with parents or single achieving so much in life, I feel you.

danka-peter-469

It was between 8-9pm, I was lying down in a couch staring into the eyes of a person I can’t reveal who and my eyes started to get teary.

I closed my eyes and I felt my heart was about to fall from chest down to the floor.

“Now I Know Why”

Now I know why I feel so lost these past few days, why I felt a portion of my life is about to crash. Why I felt my world is about to turn upside down.

It’s all about FEARS.

Given we are all afraid of something. We are afraid of the things we know are about to happen and for the things that we assume might happen. We have all those fears.

But this time it’s different.

Now, I know why I can’t move forward in life despite the small victories and successes.

Now, I figured out why after 26 years I still feel I am not there yet. I haven’t achieved anything.

My career life is not yet the “bang” in my own version of Big Bang theory.

I am afraid that I might not reach people’s expectations of me.

When I was in grade school, they call me Ms. Congeniality.

I make friends. A really good numbers of friends.

Maybe that’s why I always win the student government elections.

I am popular because I told myself “I have to be the good kid”

I may not be the smartest, but at least the good kid.

I always want to please people. I allowed them to dictate to me who I should be.

The Best Dancer.

A Student Government officer.

A nurse.

A writer.

A speaker.

I became the jack of all trades.

And now, it boils down to “what’s next after I become all these?”

Let’s go back to the crying part, where I got the answer I’ve been looking my whole life.

Why I feel lost, I feel unsuccessful, why I feel I am at the dead end.

If your story is you are born with parents or single achieving so much in life, I feel you.

I allowed myself to feel that whatever I do will reflect to the achievements my family has.

I allowed the noise to rule my life and became everyone wants me to be.,

And now I am tired.

I am tired becoming what everyone wants me to be.

I can’t be a superhero all the time.

I will never be someone else.

I can’t always win in life

And not all my prayers can be answered.

Today, I figured out that resigning from a good job to find myself might be a bittersweet decision after all.

It can either be a sweet victory or a 360 degree kind of ending; But whatever it is, at least this time I will live a life I chose.

It’s time to start deciding what I really what to do with my life.

How I really want to spend it.

How I want to live it.

If today or tomorrow, I will choose to do something crazy, something unusual, not part of the norm or something everyone is expecting, I’ll stop thinking what others will think.

Today, I choose my life.

I chose God as my shield and protector.

God Bless You!

wp-1459207987332.jpeg

shutterstocktypewriter2

Is fear holding you back?

luis-llerena-14778.jpg

After I attended the Love Life Retreat at The Feast Bay Area, I realized that I have the gift of writing. When I was still in grade school, I used to write poems and stories and keep them all inside a notebook.

I didn’t share them to my friends and family members because I was afraid they might not like them, or worse, criticize them.

I used to write long Tagalog poems that, I realized, I should have used for spoken words. I used to write stories that if only I was able to proofread them, I could have completed my own book at the age of 12 or 16.

Imagine, if only I was not afraid to improve myself and did not listen to what other people might say, I might have reached my dreams at an early age.

Fear is what’s making us hold back.

Hold us back to our dreams.

Hold us back to our future.

Hold us back to whatever possibilities.

How about you?

What are you afraid to do?

What are you afraid to risk?

Are you in a job that you don’t like?

Are you in a relationship that you no longer want?

Are you doing things that you actually hate?

How long are you feeding yourself with fear?

As I was saying, after I attended that Love Life Retreat, I changed my perspective about life. I changed the eyeglasses I use. Instead of wearing the glasses of fear, I started wearing the glasses of love.

Love for God so I can trust Him fully that whatever happens, He will always be at my side.

Love for myself so I can choose what I really want to do for the rest of my life.

Love for others so I will use them as an inspiration, as a “lesson-learned,” as a challenge, as someone who can actually motivate me to do what I love to do.

My dear friends, it isn’t easy to change the glasses. It’s always a risk. There are always consequences.

If I was not able to change my glasses, I will not be able to put up my blog (positiviree.wordpress.com), I will not be able to write for The Feast Sta. Lucia Bulletin, I will not be able to write an article for One True Love Club (I will be forever thankful for you, Sis. Rissa Singson Kawpeng), and of course, I will not able to write a book entitled, Where Do Broken Hearts Go? that I am praying to be published into a paperback one day.

I hope you can help me pray for that dream!

So again, what are you afraid to do?

 Until when are you going to feed that fear?

May God continue to push you to your dreams!

Have a blessed week ahead, Beautiful Souls!

God bless you!

wp-1459207987332.jpeg

I realized that I cannot do it all!

Not Everyone is going to like you.

DSC_0540

I was browsing my Facebook timeline and I saw this wonderful post entitled “NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU” by Jarrid Wilson. I’ve been following his page for months because most of his posts are inspirational. He is a pastor, an author and an inspirational blogger too!

Anyway, As I was reading his blog I picture myself with the words he dropped on his writing: people pleaser and impressing people.

Would you agree If I tell you that in some point of our lives we became those words too?

We wanted the world to accept us that’s why we keep on telling them things that would make them love us?

Maybe that’s the reason why we have friends right now. They are the output of the things we do or we say about ourselves.

So now that you have lists of friends, How are you?

Are you still living in a the world of proving yourself everyday? Or are you living care free?

Well I have a story to tell, When I was a kid, since most of my siblings are achievers, I programmed myself that I want to excel in a different way, Instead of investing too much On IQ (Intelligence Quotient) I went to learning EQ (Emotional Quotient). I started gaining friends and then friends and then friends and then yes more friends that I started to get drained. How? When I tried to dive in their world, when I solved most of their problems, when I became a friend to everyone else; giving advices, solutions and Excuses!  You know what, I actually gain popularity! But I also experienced a lot of heart breaks and stress.

So when I reached college, I realized that I should also start focusing on myself. That I should learn to say NO from time to time, that I can still be a friend without doing so much and without proving myself all the time. I realized that I can’t do it all!

And also, You should treat yourself better. The act of kindness should come from within. It shouldn’t be something you do to impress people. It should come naturally. If it’s killing you from the inside then there’s something wrong.

Do you also have the same story?

You want the world to accept you so you do the things you do right now even if it is out of your values?

Do you still know who you are?

Do you still know your worth?

My Dear, You are the definition of Blessing!

You are made with so much love from Heaven.

Yes, you are made for a purpose, You are made a Super Hero on Earth!

But you are created to be yourself too!

Don’t think that you are not worthy because you weren’t able to solve a tiny problem for a friend.

God has his own ways.

TRUST.

He always got your Back!

God Bless Everyone!

wp-1459207987332.jpeg

*Photo by Ree Bringuelo. Featured Image googled.

Are you afraid to start from SMALL?

Hanggang Chicken at sabon na lang muna ang pride.

11080375_10155339285890551_8016465396065759307_o

When I was still young, I used to dream that I was an actress. I love watching teleseryes and re-enact the scenes inside my bedroom. I feel that I live to become a dramatic actress one day.

Imagine the posters I collected when I was still a kid; posters of Katherine Bernardo and Liza Soberano. (18 Years Old Feels)

Peace Sign haha!

As I was saying, I love to be in front of the camera! If I didn’t pursue nursing, my choice would be a mass communication graduate. I’m so curious about how they end up being good in front and at the back of the camera. How they get their confidence and how they project when in front of the stage or TV.

But my curiosity remained just a curiosity, I have no guts to tell to my parents that I want to have another course, I don’t have the courage to audition on any TV Shows and most especially I don’t believe that I can make it over a thousands of aspirants here in the Philippines.

Imagine how I was awed with the success of the biggest stars of today.

I wished I tried.

How about you? Do you have this ” I WISH? ”

Do you have that dreams that you hoped you give a fight?

What do you think will your life be if you strive for what your heart wants?

Now that I am serving behind the camera at the Feast Sta. Lucia, I still have regrets in terms of my the decisions in the past. I still have that ” I wish that was me “ but I think It’s more harder to live with too much burden from the past.

Maybe God is telling us that if we really want “an araneta-sized dream” (like what Bro. Bo Sanchez said on his talk at PICC) We have to start now.DSC_0305

We have to start small.
We have to be humble.
We have to learn to bend down a little.
We have to surrender.
We have to submit whatever it is in our hearts.
We have to be willing to embrace whatever the consequences are.

Hanggang Chicken at sabon na lang muna ang pride.

God did not bring that dream, that opportunity, that hope, that chance in your life if it’s not directing you to your purpose.

Today, I love to be behind the lens. I love to capture your smiles, your laugh, the way you raise your novena, the way you worship the Lord and the way you just raise your hands up as a sign of praise.

Maybe God is telling us right now to forget the “I WISH” starting today and start doing something that could lead to that BIGGEST BREAK of our lives.

My dream to become an actress may no longer happen, or may happen; I AM NOT REALLY SURE but maybe by starting from where I am right now I can be someone I never thought I would end up to be.

Who knows?

His plans are always greater than our expectations.

Do you want to be an actress too? Start from workshops.

Do you want to be a doctor? Start from focusing on your school.

Do you want to be a writer? Start from writing at least 250 words everyday!

OR Maybe He is calling you to serve?

Do you want to be a worship leader? Start from joining the choir!

Do you want to be a preacher? Start from being part of Small groups!

Do you want to be a builder? Start from building yourself!

You can be anything you want if you start now.

Forget the things you haven’t done or you haven’t tried.

Redefine your dreams.

Redefine your success.

Maybe God wants you to get through this to direct you to something BIG.

God Bless you!

wp-1459207987332.jpeg

*Photos from Ree Bringuelo. Feast Sta. Lucia Cainta

To all your What If-s

What if you can actually make something happen?

 

 

DSC_0018

What if you can change the world?

What if you can audition to your favorite game show and win almost 1 million?

What if you can join a singing contest and win a recording album of your own?

What if you can top the class and graduate magna cum laude?

What if you can excel on your job and get promoted to your dream position?

What if you don’t have to marry somebody to feel complete and happy?

What if you decide to end your toxic relationship and find someone much better than your dream guy?

What if you can save more than 1 billion and resign at the age of 40?

What if you learn how to say NO to bullying and give yourself some respect?

What if you can survive your greatest fear and get the courage that you’ve been praying for?

What if you can speak in front of thousands of students and inspire them to make the biggest success of their lives?

What if you can make all your hopes happen and live with no regrets?

What if you can make the impossible possible?

What if you are just scared to try?

What if you realized you’re supposed to make it but you gave up?

 

What if you realized it’s too late?

DSC_0011
I guess this mandatory Selfie brings good luck on my blog posts! Thank You for reading 🙂

What if you let your “What If’s” eat you alive?

What if you found out the only person that is keeping you from making all your dreams come true is yourself?

Don’t live with regrets ANYMORE, my Dear!

Live an AWESOME, FANTASTIC and EXTRAVAGANT LIFE.

Tik Tok Tik Tok.

PS. I love to hear your What Ifs and your resolutions! Feel free to comment it below! 🙂

God Bless!

wp-1459207987332.jpeg

*Photos by Mhai and Ree Bringuelo

Do you experience Dreamer’s Block?

Are you procrastinating when it comes to your dreams?

wp-1469731323041.jpeg

I keep rolling on my bed; trying to figure out what to write.

Have you heard Writer’s block?

I wanted to write so badly but nothing in my brain functions. I got the right words but I cannot compose it.

I feel stuck. I wanted to move forward but it seems impossible.

I wanted to start but I don’t know how to end.

The truth is, we all have those thoughts in our minds that we only place in our heads but never put into actions.

Can I call it Dreamer’s block?

These are the dreams that we have planned a long time ago, or just today, this very minute, but then because we lack the drive, because we feel we cannot make it and that we are not good enough, we just throw it at the back of our minds waiting for a miracle to happen.

Then you forget about it.

Then never put it into action.

wp-1469731296429.jpeg

Believe me, I can’t imagine that this dream of writing can be possible! I only attended a Retreat in Tagaytay and look where I am right now, you are reading my post and just hit ” like”.

My dear friends, are you afraid that once you look back in your life you’ll realize you wasted so much time and effort on the things that really won’t matter?

Let’s put it into one simple question: Do you have regrets?

Do you think that the dreams you have in your heart when you were little were much better than where you are right now?

Well here’s the catch on our beautiful story called life:

It’s not too late to make your dreams possible. He is calling you right now to make your move.

Get out from your comfort zone! It’s time to wipe those regrets and defeat those fears.

“ What If I failed? ”

Then try until you master the techniques. Go to different seminars. Engage yourself with a lot of people you want to become someday. Enroll yourself to different training that will enhance your skills. Never ever give up until you try every plan from A to GOD.

The Final say is still God’s plan for you.

It’s time to do the uncomfortable. It’s time to stretch that body to be able to reach your goals. It’s time to work hard for the thing that will make you happy in the end.

My friends, your breakthroughs in life may be a challenge for you to move forward.

Don’t be afraid! Those dreams that you put in your mind’s recycle bin may be put into Restore.

God is never wrong when it comes to putting dreams in our hearts.

Find your happiness.

Never ever give up.

Move forward.

Make those dreams come true!

God Bless!

wp-1459207987332.jpeg