What if it fails?
What if it doesn’t work out?
What if I am not enough?
These are the questions we hear from ourselves when we try to start another fire after a break up.
The fire I was talking about is the “fire” – enough to light up the romantic side of you, again; the hope, the eagerness, the enthusiasm and the hype to find love.
Yes, I am talking about the little electricity you feel when you want to start again.
“You don’t know how or if it’s ever going to be possible again, after you got yourself broken.”
Well, for some who broke up with a minor heart break, maybe it was easy to find another love.
But for some who felt that they made their world turning around in one person, believe me, it’s not as easy as changing shirts; it was a lot more.
It was more of hesitations, before pushing the gas paddle.
It was more of “Hi, I’m..” then when someone replied, you put them in Seen zone.
It was more of Yes to first date and when you feel that there’s a little flaw, a little not HER or HIM, you’ll never try again.
It was more of PUSH AND PULL, na para bang wag na lang pala.
Anything that will make you remind of His Love, His Smiles, His all and anything that will remind you of NOT her, not her smell, not her beauty, not her care you end up to “wag na lang pala”.
So, in your search, you feel you are losing more than gaining.
It was you being so emotional attached again.
It was easy now to feel vulnerable, so you guard your heart to the point that no one can ever be greater than your old lovestory.
I don’t know why I even wrote this thing. I don’t know if it’s making sense.
But I just felt I have to tell you that I feel you.
The feeling of how it is to be so guarded that when one person looks like it’s not going to work out, you move on kahit wala naman talagang kayo.
The feeling of Yes or No, the feeling of tagutaguan (hide and seek), the feeling of mauna mag-fall – talo (first to fall hard, lose) , the feeling of friendzone, the feeling of trial and error – and most importantly the feeling of wag nalang pala.
Are you that afraid to take the risk?
Are you afraid to make the next move?
Are you afraid that you’ll be shattered into pieces?
Are you afraid that you’ll find the wrong person, again?
Are you afraid to start over again?
Here’s the good news, you are not alone.
I am afraid too.
Now, I guess we have to boil down to one perfect resolution – Have Faith.
That whatever it is, and whatever it will be, if you pray so hard to the Lord ; He or she will come just perfect.
In Perfect Time.
In Perfect Place.
And no flaw will ever prevail because He or She will come with a lot of Faith that it’s going to be you, too.
I don’t have the answers. This is now between you, your faith and your God to WHEN it’s going to be worth it.