” I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I gotta find my own ”
– Beyonce Knowles, “Listen”
And most importantly, Listen.
Have you ever felt like you are Good to be somebody’s confidant?
The feeling like He/She needs you, your words of encouragement, advices, preaching or whatever you call that; it boosts your confidence right?
Whenever someone asks us to counsel him/her we feel obligated to answer back. We also feel that we have to contribute or share something in order to make the story lighter or easy to understand. So we talk and talk and we talk until that person feels relieved.
To advice the same advice to the same person over and over again?
Sometimes, we feel drained after. We feel like we are not helping, we are not giving solutions, we put ourselves down and forget that the real lead star of the story is not you but the person involved.
We get so attached that we remove our role to the story; a friend.
A shoulder to cry on.
A Hug Zone.
We no longer focus on the part of listening because we are so eager to be the problem solver.
We tend to forget the importance of our presence, our willingness to listen, our time we have to give up just to be there and our effort to come across the globe to be with that person.
My dear friend, How many times did you act as a friend more than a preacher? A teacher? A parent? A coach?
How many times did you sit with a friend and gave nothing but a warm hug and a tap on the back?
How many times you stop being right and just allowed that person to be healed by their own decisions in life?
How many times did you offer nothing but ears and shoulders?
Sweetheart, There is nothing wrong in giving an advice, there is nothing wrong in saying what you feel, but you have to realize that you are not ALWAYS obligated to answer. You are not obligated to give all the solutions that this persons haven’t realize YET.
Don’t pressure yourself too much!
It’s okay if you reach the “I don’t know” phase.
She needs you to be a friend.
She needs someone to run to when the world is against him.
She needs someone to hold him tight when the world throws nothing but judgement and criticisms after the decision she made.
You can be a superhero with your 2 ears my dear.
Your presence is enough.
And if not, then don’t feel bad. For sure, God puts you to that situation for a purpose.
Stop, Look and never judge.
Never forget to listen.
There are always 2 sides of the story.
Just be open.
Use your ears and your beautiful words wisely.
Be better, love.